Operation Concrete

The duality of man is a subject that philosophers and authors have fought around for some time. I doubt my 8500 words in Chapter 8 really do the subject much justice when you've got masterpieces of literary history like The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. But I've given it a go, and it's been very personal. Introspective as hell, like my entire writing experience thus far, but this one was a real viper. A sneaky bastard that came in, and in some ways, really made me question the person I am today, what happens sometimes under certain circumstances, and the direction of my life.

There's beast, that demon that so many carry, it sometimes weighs on my shoulders. With some encouragement and reduced moral capacity, I believe he could quickly get out of hand, consume not only me but the people around me in a mist of hate. So writing on how man can, and is, split down the middle, and on which path is perhaps easier to take, was a fairly intense session. I did my best to let it really flow, let the whole thing come out, put my thoughts, ideas and beliefs down on paper in one session, maintain that thought and let it grow. It wasn't to kind to my personality, the dark corners of ones mind usually aren't. But you'll have to read the finish product to fully understand why.

As the saying goes, regret things that you don't do, not the things that you do. But in some instances, it's can be difficult to let go, to not be consumed by self-loathing. Those nights in the city can sometimes really get to you. Here's a quick paragraph, from early on in the chapter.

“He was consumed by regret. Why had he done what he had done? He wasn't a brute. He had long thought his heart had removed the majority of its pain, he thought he had grown strong and if not killed, at least trapped its beasts.

He was a happy successful young man, he fit in, he liked his friends, and they liked him. He had a reciprocal relationship with close platonic, life-companions that saw joy was in no short supply, it surrounded them. But somewhere, something had gone wrong, he didn't know what to blame, a cross firing synaptic response in his muddled brain? A deeply buried raw emotion of particular intensity that manifested itself in his demon like alter ego? He had no where to turn, right now. All he could do was walk straight, hoping each step would pull him further out of his self induced pit of loathing, of regret, of hate and paranoia.”

I'm going to keep a close eye on this chapter, as my thoughts develop on the idea over the coming months. I made most of my notes on this particular one whilst semi-drunk, and I think it comes out in places, introspective, intoxicating and in-depth. In some ways I just want the character to grow a pair and stop whining, but that's not the point. Enjoyable, but difficult. Is man intrinsically evil? Tough question, no doubt.

For today's Aspirers Mark, I thought I'd go with [nsfw] Reverse Cowgirl sex blogger, Susannah Breslin. She's a successful freelancer, blogger, photographer and documenter of all things pornographic and more, she's authored some short stories but from what I can tell, she's still working hard on her first novel, so that clearly puts her in the aspiring novelist bracket. Her blog is great, although often not safe for work, so be careful when clicking, she regularly tackles a deal of sexual related subjects, which I've come to believe is the subject of her book, in particular her time and experience on 'Porn Valley' in Hollywood. It's generally very interesting reading. Definitely keep an eye out for progress on this one.