So, I've needed to blog for a while, and I've thought of a few different things I want to get out at the moment, but one thing that I just want to think about and have a bit of a 'stream of consciousness' on, is the retirement of Sasha Grey from the adult film industry.
Why? I ask myself. And it's a peculiar question with a multifaceted answer. I'm a human, humans look at other humans having sex, it's the oldest game in the book, and it's a multi-billion dollar industry globally, Sasha Grey is an award winning actress, starlet, pornstar, whatever you want to call it inside that industry. She came to my particular attention a few years ago when one of my favourite bloggers, Susanna Breslin, hosted an American Apparel advert (NSFW) which featured SG basically nude apart from the AA thigh-high-stockings, oh and some now rather infamous pubic hair. The advert was undoubtedly a massive success, got featured all over the net with different takes on it from various parties, some feminists loving it, 'she owns her own sex,' whilst others not really getting along with it, and other similar AA adverts, at all. I thought it was pretty awesome and went about looking into, excuse the pun, SG a bit more.
Obviously there's all the porn, but SG particularly fascinated me because she was / is seemingly so strong of mind and of will and spirit. I quickly found this video of SG on the Tyra Banks show (which actually takes a lot of watching because of all the anti-porn messages) and then I watched the SG response video and how the show created an illusion, and her own opinion was dumbed down, which as she says, is just how these things work. Essentially after seeing these videos, I thought SG was a bit of an enigma, she's a highly sexualised female with brains and creativity, and the more interviews I read and saw, the more enigmatic I thought she was.
Then I read this Rolling Stone piece, highlighting that she was being made a cover girl under the heading "Dirtiest Girl In The World," which brought to my attention her on going aspirations to become an indie film actress, and her first foray into this arena with; 'The Girlfriend Experience'. I've still not seen the film itself, but it's about a high-end Manhattan call girl and her ongoing relationship with her boyfriend, which again, I thought was pretty fascinating. Not having been in the position before where my girlfriend was a high-end call girl, I liked the concept, and the film itself seemed to get a decent amount of praise. It reminded me of this article which I'd seen mentioning how Tilda Swinton 'keeps two lovers,' a young lad and an old fella and, my initial reactions on how I would feel if I had to 'share' a partner or significant other, something that at the time I hadn't really explored. It's still a concept that interests me, though one that I don't think I'm entirely settled on yet, or quite ready to share on the internet, email me if you want to talk more on this.
So, anyway, there's this female, Sasha Grey, she's winning awards all over the place, she's smart, sharp, knows what she's doing and successfully making the transition from the adult film industry into indie 'art' film. And on a base level, I have to explore my own feelings about this. Again I ask myself, why? She gets paid to get fucked, and then because she's good at it, and willing to push boundaries, she gains recognition, this recognition is built upon to further her career in the path that she, in the long term, wants to explore further, and I'm jealous? Perhaps.
I'm a writer, I love it, I go on about my novel and Operation Concrete all the time, on here and in real life. I'm putting together my second novel at the moment which I've talked about before as well. But it's hard, trying to become any good at something, let alone gaining recognition for it. So, I have my job in social media, which I love doing, the whole marketing side of my life is awesome, and it does help me with the novel writing things, no doubt about it. All in all, I have a pretty good time of things I'd say, but there was that niggle. So, skip a bit of time, until very recently and the launch of SG's first book, NEÜ SEX; "Four years in the making, NEÜ SEX, includes my visual mosaic through photography, my sexual philosophy, and observations". Released by Vice, again, I felt what I can only describe as chagrin.
There's that thing in life, as far as I see it, that if you want people to pay attention, you either have to do something extraordinary, or have a legacy. Now, SG has both of these things, two more than most people, and rightly so. Was my chagrin coming from the fact that she got there by having sex? And being good at it? Perhaps.
And, then came the announcement on Facebook of her retirement from porn, and well, it seemed to fully bridge that gap, and has prompted this blog post. She's clearly going to walk forward now, doing exactly what she want's, and the fact that she's done 126 porn films? I'm not sure, we'll have to see how that one plays out. The pro/anti porn arguments are an ongoing raging battle between moral fortitude and feminist expression and filthy abandonment and horror and pleasure and pain and degradation and empowerment and all those other things. I'm not one to comment on those things really, I just wanted to explore a little, this person, what she has done, and how I've felt about it over a number of years.
Right now? She's just as fascinating as ever, I'll buy her book, I'd like to think one day she'll buy one of mine. We'll see how all that goes. All I know, is that the chagrin has definitely gone.